29 years old. 12 weeks pregnant. I’m sitting in the Head Master’s office with my resume- a collection of broken fragments of what felt like failed attempts. .
I’m trembling, embarrassed. Two sheets of paper covered in black ink with dates and places too many to count for such a young age.
.
I’m apologizing and fumbling my words. I’m explaining and disclaiming. How do you tell someone there is a calling on your life when nobody is calling? How do you convince a highly educated person you are appointed without any opportunities or appointments? How do you tell them your first choice is ministry but you just need a safe place until you can get to where you’re going? .
You can’t. You just submit the broken pieces and surrender to the discomfort of the process, the pressing. I’m thinking, “Is this how to get to the new wine?” Nope. That’s sweat. .
With one hand up he interrupts me. I assume the interview is over. But he leans forward like a father, kind and gentle and reassuring. He says, “Natalie, I don’t see this resume as broken fragments of indecisiveness. I see little altars that are going to eventually get you to where God wants you. If we can be one of those places on your way there, I consider that an honor.” .
I’m in tears. Maybe because I’m pregnant or maybe because this man saw my anointing over my brokenness. He was an educator but pastored me more in those 5 years than anyone had in my twenties. .
I learned I was more than my brokenness. My failed attempts. My leaps of faith that left me with a wounded limb. We don’t have to apologize for difficult years, challenging assignments, barren seasons. They are part of our testimony and little altars that mark the beginning and ending of trying to find where we belong. What God has spoken over us, His Word, His anointing on our lives is stronger and more powerful than our most broken moments. .
I look back now and can see all those markers so clearly. Each marker has a story. Each scar a testimony. So I keep going. I’m not broken. I’m called. I’m appointed. I’ve been anointed to carry out something unique for the Kingdom. So have you.
#raisedtostay #pk #pklife #ministry