I’m tossing and turning on a mattress on the floor, the soundtrack to My Best Friend’s Wedding playing through flimsy 1997 foam headphones. Our family of 4 had moved overnight from a 3 bedroom parsonage to sharing a room in an efficiency apartment located over a barn in the middle of nowhere. The horses are stomping in their stalls and I kind of want to join them in my own temper tantrum- this isn’t how I expected to spend my senior year in high school.
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It would be in this particular year that the Lord showed me that what felt like running, what felt like fleeing, what looked like defeat was actually an opportunity to rest for what was coming. The enemy, people we know and even our family and friends can often mistake seasons of rest for running away or resignation- but we’re not quitting, we’re just catching our breath. .
This was the year I’d choose a secular college over a Christian college. The year I drove an hour to and from school with worship music flooding my car while I hashed things out with God. The year I found myself wanting to spiritually destroy everything and every one who seemed to cause my family harm. Like David with a sword drawn prepared to kill Saul I learned what it was like to be backed into a cave but to put down my weapon and choose forgiveness rather than bitterness because one day I’d understand what, “touch not God’s anointed ones” meant on a deeper level.
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The efficiency apartment in the middle of nowhere, that season away from ministry, the first time I would watch my dad circle jobs in a newspaper. That was the place I heard God most clearly and where we would miraculously be called back into ministry.
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I like to think after 20 years of ministry I make the enemy a bit nervous when I run for refuge in difficult seasons and I actually practice and believe, “the meek shall inherit the earth.” .
For me I found that running and resting can look similar but one is based on fear and the other on faith and the Lord has not given me the spirit of fear. So I’ll put the enemy on notice: .
I’m not running. .
I’m just catching my breath. .
#raisedtostay #pk #pklife #ministry #church